Analysis.

Welp. Here we go again.  It is currently 11:38pm on a Saturday night and I am laying in my bed pondering life again.  Analysis.  It's the worst.  I over think everything.  Today was a day of over thinking things.  A certain scenario particularly pops to the mind when I rethink the day, but let's not hash up the dirty details of my life as to be completely honest it's the biggest waste of time and extremely boring. I shall make a list of things below of which I shall evaluate.

Numero Uno - I caught myself thinking of the things I need to do to make me content with the way things are going in my life.  Which to be completely honest, could use some serious re-evaluation.  The people that are in it, for one.  That's a major thing I need to think about.  I seem to think I need to surround myself with people who use me.  Not today mothafucka.  Not going to happen anymore.  If you want to be in my life, BE THERE.  If you don't, BEAT IT.  I'm sick and tired of these people who think they can come and go as they please.  If you think I'm always going to be there for you, think again.  It's time to find someone else to use and abuse because this chick has checked the fuck out.  

Numero Dos - Living life to the fullest.  I honestly do nothing exciting.  Well sometimes I do exciting things.  Like last night I went to the Backstreet Boys with my bestest friend Breanne.  Yep, probably the best time I've had in a super long time.  Also, last weekend went to random hall party in Keoma, of all places, that my sister-in-law's brother was throwing.  Hella good time.  NEVER drink a wine-mixer beverage if someone offers you one.  Well maybe it was just his wine-mixer beverage because 2 of those bad boys and you could likely die.  Anywho, that's about the most excitement I've had for awhile.  Even my birthday was a bore.  T-Swift made turning 22 sound like the funnest thing in the history of the planet.  Well she was a lying bitch.  Honestly though, I have to start indulging in things that interest me more.  I need to get back into photography.  I need to start swimming again.  I need to shoot gophers on the weekends because it's a way to release anger and stress.

Numero Tres - This one is big.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Que sera sera.  Whatever will be, will be.  I'm tired of sitting around stressing about things that shouldn't matter.  Things that are so insignificant to life and how things are going to be in the future that I am wasting my life away.  I take a simple comment or glance from someone so personally.  Other people don't give a flying fuck what I'm doing, who I am, where I came from, or where I'm going.  So why should I let it bother me.  I'm done.

With all this nonsense said,  I hope some of you, too, can possibly relate.  Love the people that love you back, and be free of the ones who drag you down.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

Boudoir.

Ola kids!  So a couple of months ago I decided, well I wouldn't say I decided more or less I was forced by a very dear friend of mine to do a boudoir photoshoot.  Lemme tell you, I was horrified.  Absolutely scared shitless.  Then I decided to wait last minute to figure out what I was going to wear.  Worst idea ever.  I am the queen of procrastination.  Legitimately.  The worst.  But I did it.  Found something that I didn't look like a fat whore in and bucked up and bought it.  The hair and make up… top notch.  The photography… amazing.  It gives you a sense of self confidence.  It's great.  Here are a couple of my favourites! :)

Judgement.

Hello kids.  I've been asked where my blog has gone so figured I would muster something up and fulfil your greedy hearts with a sappy sort of fuck you post.  So here it goes.

Growing up I considered myself to be a pretty outgoing person and could get along with just about anyone.  Until now.  I get so frustrated with everyone.  We all have the pre-perceved notions of people before two words come out of their mouths.  "Oh that bitch looked at me wrong, I hate her guts."  Fuck you.  You or even myself do not know what kind of lives these people live.  That girl you called a slut, she got raped as a child.  That boy you called a nerd, he would try out for the basketball team and probably be captain but is scared of getting the shit kicked out of him at tryouts.

I recently got a couple new tattoos and have gotten the weirdest reactions to them.  "Why would you put that on your body?" or "why don't you just tattoo your work address on you?" or "if I give you my autograph will you get it as a tattoo too?"  You know what? KISS MY ASS!  I got two things that are important to me.  Sure you may not know what it means, but instead of judging me, why don't you ask me what it means to me or what the significance of it is?  I was actually hurt by the reactions I got.  So here is the reasoning for you people who might be wondering.  The tattoo on my collar bone is the legal land description of my parents farm.  Why? Because that's where I grew up, it's home.  It's apart of who I am.  It made me the person I am today.  The tattoo on my foot, that is for my Grams.  The one who passed away a couple of years ago.  It is her sign off from my 4th birthday card.  In her writing. It's perfect.  It looks identical to the writing from the card.  So please tell me that these aren't sentimental or that I should go get your signature tattooed on my body.  The only place those would go would be on my ass with an X through it.

I am not saying in the slightest that I am not judgemental, because trust me I am.  But keep your snide comments to yourself.  I'm so tired of having to defend myself and other people because someone doesn't like what they are doing or how they look.

Love one another, be grateful for the people you have in your life because you never know when they decide their time is done.

xoxo

Love.

Feelings.  How does one properly convey how they are feeling to someone with out A) hurting someone else's feelings B) creeping them the hell out C) ruining something that could have been great.  I always find myself holding back how I feel in certain situations because I am scared of how the other person is going to react.  It baffles me how something so huge gets thrown around so freely.  Sure, tell your family, friends and loved ones that you love them but don't throw the words around like they don't mean anything.  I see so many young kids who have been dating someone for 2 days telling each other they love one another but honestly, do they even know what the means?

I love my friends.  I love my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and I LOVE my nephew Dane more than anyone on the planet.  I love a lot of inanimate object.  But I will never tell someone I love them without actually getting to know them.  Getting to see who they are.  Understanding them.  That's what matters.  You have to be ready for things like that.  There are so many pressures in this world that falling in love shouldn't be one of them.  It should be nature.  I personally believe that a healthy relationship shouldn't be boasted about all over social media.  Granted people have their own opinions about this and have expressed them to me, but this is how I feel.  Judge me.  Give me shit.  Come at me.  To each their own.  You have your opinion and so do I.  Leave me be with mine and I will leave you be with yours.

Laugh often.  Smile More.  Love Wholeheartedly.

Xoxo.

Mr. & Mrs. Parker

I got the absolute pleasure of taking the pictures at my childhood friends wedding yesterday and let me tell you…. these guys are nuts!  In a good way!  So much fun! Here is a 'peek' at a few of the shots we did!

Social Media.

Hola friends.

Haven't written a sassy Daelyn-esk blog in a couple weeks, so I figured hey! Why not tonight?  Lot's of excitement in the Deeg family lately with the arrival of Dane Kayson to the clan!  Let me tell you, the love one has for their first nephew or niece; nothing compares.  He's freaking great.  I could literally just snuggle him all damn day.

Carrying right along to the point of my blog today.  Social media.  Holy moses is this ever taking over our lives.  It is insanity.  Even me writing this blog, social media! Insanity.  The fact that someone cannot go a couple of hours without their cellphone literally baffles me.  Going to dinner with people anymore is actually pointless because everyone is just on their phones all night.   That is my favourite thing about going out anymore; people watching.  You wouldn't believe the amount of people who completely ignore the people they are with just to text someone back to "check their Facebook quick" or "send a quick tweet." These things are starting to take over our lives and no one seems to bother trying to make an effort for human contact anymore.  Everything is just over the phone or internet.  Now don't get me wrong, I am an offender of this on as well but I actually go out for dinner or do things with people because I genuinely like them or want to be with them, not because I want to be with them and their fucking phone.  Get real.

I was out for dinner with a good friend of mine downtown one night and we were sitting there drinking wine and chatting and such and I looked at the table in front of me and the couple sitting there looked like they were actually having the worst time of their entire lives.  Married, both on their cell phones, and when they didn't have the phones glued to their hands or faces they just sat there and stared into space and didn't even try to interact with one another.  That is not what I would want in a relationship.  Let's face it, I ain't no expert on dating because hell I haven't dated since junior high but honestly I don't care; but that's besides the point.  If I were in a relationship with someone who had a permaphone on their hand I would lose my marbles!  I'd want interaction, attraction, affection, hell pick on me! I don't care!  Just talk to me! Pay attention and engage in life.  Don't be a robot.

Furthermore, if you are going to use social media such as Facebook or twitter don't be stupid about it.  Be considerate of the people who will be viewing your content.  Would you mother, father, grandparents, etc. be proud of you for posting what you are posting?  Once it's out there, it's there. People are going to judge you, people are going to talk, people are going to post their opinions.  You can't be upset with someone for posting their comments.  Take it with a grain of salt.  If you are going to post about personal things, then maybe think about what peoples reactions are going to be before you post it.  Too many of my friends have been arguing online lately about things such as parenting, breastfeeding, politics, etc.  Everyone has an opinion and everyone is going to post that opinion if you give them the opportunity and it sucks seeing everyone arguing about such things.

Anywho, rant complete.

Love all.  Don't judge.  Be kind.  Love one another.  Peace.

Life.

I find myself wondering everyday if I actually have made in impact on peoples lives and I always wonder if I've made the best decisions.  As I look around this beautiful home I have created and bought on my own will, I wonder if I was truly ready for such a big responsibility at such a young ripe age of 21.  Sure the stresses get me down sometimes, as owning your own home is extremely stressful and taxing on my emotions but I honestly feel that if I hadn't have done this, I'd probably still be living at home with my ma and pa.  Which necessarily isn't a completely awful thing, because don't get me wrong, I basically live there on weekends anyways, but I wouldn't have this sense of independence and self-sufficiency that I have now.

I find myself over analyzing every single thing I do, every single look I get from people.  That is not the way I want to live my life.  I miss being a happy  go-lucky, carefree girl!  I was having a conversation with someone a couple weeks ago and she said her "New Years Resolution" was to "find her smile again."  When I got home later that night I found myself sitting there wondering what that could mean in so many different aspects of my life.  Then it hit me. I've lost the one thing that made me, me.  My smile.  You could always see my happiness in my smile.  I was always smiling. Always.  It didn't matter if I didn't do something I was supposed to or made somebody upset, I always smiled because I knew I was going to get through it and come out a better person in the long run.  

I need to get back to that.  My new life motto is "que sera sera" for those of you who don't know what that means it is "whatever will be will be."  Life has a funny way of working itself out.  It gets tough. Oh fuck, does it get tough and there are days where you think you just can't get through it; there is always going to be something better. Something worth learning.  Something to grow from.  My life is far from perfect, yet in it's own little weird, quirky way, its kind of perfect for me.

Live. Grow. Learn. And most of all. LOVE.