Hello my loves...
I haven't written anything as of late and strangely enough got a request to write a new blog post today. STRANGE! Needless to say, my year was going fairly decent. Couldn't complain to much, had a great Christmas, New Years, birthday and I went the Backstreet Boys concert. Year=made! Until this summer. My world got flipped upside down. Something happened that I never thought would happen to me or my family. I will not go into great detail about it, as those involved need their privacy, as do I.
Family is the single handed most important thing in life. Without your family, who do you really have? Sure, you have friends but they aren't always there to pick up the pieces or to talk to when your screaming or crying. But for me, I do not know where I would be without my two best friends Breanne and Hannah. They have become part of my family.
Hannah, I called crying so hard this summer that I couldn't breathe and she talked to me and calmed me down from something I thought I would never recover from. Hannah has been my best friend since grade 7. We met through our mutual friend Jordyn and we inseparable ever since. Although she has moved to Coaldale and met the most amazing man, Jesse; she is always there for me. Not matter what time it is, whether it's good news or bad she's always been there, for that I will be eternally grateful.
Breanne, she has been my rock. My go-to person. My constant friend and has always had my back. Giving me distractions from my broken life. Breanne and I met back in the good-ol days of Star's basketball where her dad, Pat, was my coach. We weren't all that close during school, but after graduation we reconnected and have't grown apart since. She is my JamMama for our Jamberry business and love that I get to share that experience with my best friend. I am so proud of her, and her accomplishments of getting her degree this year and pursuing her dream of being a teacher. AND to top it all off, she has the best boyfriend Kody and they just moved into the most amazing house together. I do not know what I would do without her in my life.
I owe both of these girls so much, but could never repay them for what they have done for me because you cannot put a price on it. It's amazing to have these people around and to feel supported and loved.
As for family, Jordan, my older brother has been the most outstanding human and most loving and understanding. I honestly do not know what I would do without him. I would be broken. To say we have always been this close would not be true. He did his thing and worked on the farm when we were kids and was definitely a daddy's boy. Where as myself, I was a mama's girl from the get-go. Jordan has taught me so many things in life. How to ride a dirt bike, how to shoot a gun, how to crash a quad.... how to throw darts and get them stuck in your siblings ankles.... But most of all he's taught me what family means and how to love that special person in your life. I look at him and my sister-in-law Katie's marriage and there is so much love. I hope one day I can be as happy as they are. Especially with a kid as damn cute as my nephew Dane.
I could not even imagine my life now without my nephew Dane. Not a fricken chance. He brings so much love and laughter to our family. His smile melts my heart. He's got the best dimples and giggle I've ever seen. I die a little bit inside when he crawls over to me and wants me to pick him up. He's got the most amazing personality and I cannot wait to see this kid grow up. (NOT THAT THIS SHOULD HAPPEN FAST!!) I am so excited for when he gets to be a big brother one day. These kids will have hit the lottery in the parent department.
Please do not take your family and friends for granted. Sometimes, they are all you have and or need to get through tough times. Love them, appreciate them and be there for them. Sometimes people need you more than you know.
cheers! xoxox
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Friends.
HUMP DAYYYY!
Happy Wednesday kids! So I've come to notice this is becoming more of a monthly blog which hey, I'm okay with because it takes a lot of my already dead brain to put something together. And tonight it is specifically painful as I am dying of a migraine, but I felt I needed to put something together as this past weekend I did a lot of thinking.
The few friends I have, let me tell you, they are amazing. New, old, near or far, they are there when I need them. My best friend graduated from university and had a party at her house and I was lucky enough to be invited to join the festivities. Some of the people in attendance I'd never met before, some I hadn't seen since high school and some I knew but wasn't overly close with. You know, I had the best time. I was out of my comfort zone. I was meeting new people. I was laughing and having the best time with the greatest people and you never know who you will meet until you push yourself out of that comfort zone or out of your own bubble. "B" has the greatest friends and it's not that I never knew them, it was that I'd never taken the time to get to know them when I was younger.
As you grow older you become friends with people who in high school you never talked to or associated with or complete strangers. The sad thing is, is that I put so much time into the friendships I had in high school and I don't even talk to half of those people anymore. Most of them either have kids or are married by now and I'm all over here like, "heyyyy, I'm still being single and awesome…" haha just kidding. But honestly though, everyone has moved on with their lives and its not who you were in high school anymore. I go home every so often and I still see some of the same people hanging out in the same groups doing the exact same thing they did every Saturday night. Getting drunk and hooking up with the same people. I mean yea, sure, if you are leading a fulfilling life I'm not here to judge you, but there is more to life than getting drunk every weekend and there is a hell of a lot more to life than Strathmore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, thank you. Thank you to the people who have stuck around. Thank you to the newest people in my life for being there now, I'm glad your here! And thank you to the assholes who left, because without the pain, there would be no lessons to learn and no way to know that I deserve better.
xoxo cheers!
Happy Wednesday kids! So I've come to notice this is becoming more of a monthly blog which hey, I'm okay with because it takes a lot of my already dead brain to put something together. And tonight it is specifically painful as I am dying of a migraine, but I felt I needed to put something together as this past weekend I did a lot of thinking.
The few friends I have, let me tell you, they are amazing. New, old, near or far, they are there when I need them. My best friend graduated from university and had a party at her house and I was lucky enough to be invited to join the festivities. Some of the people in attendance I'd never met before, some I hadn't seen since high school and some I knew but wasn't overly close with. You know, I had the best time. I was out of my comfort zone. I was meeting new people. I was laughing and having the best time with the greatest people and you never know who you will meet until you push yourself out of that comfort zone or out of your own bubble. "B" has the greatest friends and it's not that I never knew them, it was that I'd never taken the time to get to know them when I was younger.
As you grow older you become friends with people who in high school you never talked to or associated with or complete strangers. The sad thing is, is that I put so much time into the friendships I had in high school and I don't even talk to half of those people anymore. Most of them either have kids or are married by now and I'm all over here like, "heyyyy, I'm still being single and awesome…" haha just kidding. But honestly though, everyone has moved on with their lives and its not who you were in high school anymore. I go home every so often and I still see some of the same people hanging out in the same groups doing the exact same thing they did every Saturday night. Getting drunk and hooking up with the same people. I mean yea, sure, if you are leading a fulfilling life I'm not here to judge you, but there is more to life than getting drunk every weekend and there is a hell of a lot more to life than Strathmore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, thank you. Thank you to the people who have stuck around. Thank you to the newest people in my life for being there now, I'm glad your here! And thank you to the assholes who left, because without the pain, there would be no lessons to learn and no way to know that I deserve better.
xoxo cheers!
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Analysis.
Welp. Here we go again. It is currently 11:38pm on a Saturday night and I am laying in my bed pondering life again. Analysis. It's the worst. I over think everything. Today was a day of over thinking things. A certain scenario particularly pops to the mind when I rethink the day, but let's not hash up the dirty details of my life as to be completely honest it's the biggest waste of time and extremely boring. I shall make a list of things below of which I shall evaluate.
Numero Uno - I caught myself thinking of the things I need to do to make me content with the way things are going in my life. Which to be completely honest, could use some serious re-evaluation. The people that are in it, for one. That's a major thing I need to think about. I seem to think I need to surround myself with people who use me. Not today mothafucka. Not going to happen anymore. If you want to be in my life, BE THERE. If you don't, BEAT IT. I'm sick and tired of these people who think they can come and go as they please. If you think I'm always going to be there for you, think again. It's time to find someone else to use and abuse because this chick has checked the fuck out.
Numero Dos - Living life to the fullest. I honestly do nothing exciting. Well sometimes I do exciting things. Like last night I went to the Backstreet Boys with my bestest friend Breanne. Yep, probably the best time I've had in a super long time. Also, last weekend went to random hall party in Keoma, of all places, that my sister-in-law's brother was throwing. Hella good time. NEVER drink a wine-mixer beverage if someone offers you one. Well maybe it was just his wine-mixer beverage because 2 of those bad boys and you could likely die. Anywho, that's about the most excitement I've had for awhile. Even my birthday was a bore. T-Swift made turning 22 sound like the funnest thing in the history of the planet. Well she was a lying bitch. Honestly though, I have to start indulging in things that interest me more. I need to get back into photography. I need to start swimming again. I need to shoot gophers on the weekends because it's a way to release anger and stress.
Numero Tres - This one is big. Don't sweat the small stuff. Que sera sera. Whatever will be, will be. I'm tired of sitting around stressing about things that shouldn't matter. Things that are so insignificant to life and how things are going to be in the future that I am wasting my life away. I take a simple comment or glance from someone so personally. Other people don't give a flying fuck what I'm doing, who I am, where I came from, or where I'm going. So why should I let it bother me. I'm done.
With all this nonsense said, I hope some of you, too, can possibly relate. Love the people that love you back, and be free of the ones who drag you down.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Numero Uno - I caught myself thinking of the things I need to do to make me content with the way things are going in my life. Which to be completely honest, could use some serious re-evaluation. The people that are in it, for one. That's a major thing I need to think about. I seem to think I need to surround myself with people who use me. Not today mothafucka. Not going to happen anymore. If you want to be in my life, BE THERE. If you don't, BEAT IT. I'm sick and tired of these people who think they can come and go as they please. If you think I'm always going to be there for you, think again. It's time to find someone else to use and abuse because this chick has checked the fuck out.
Numero Dos - Living life to the fullest. I honestly do nothing exciting. Well sometimes I do exciting things. Like last night I went to the Backstreet Boys with my bestest friend Breanne. Yep, probably the best time I've had in a super long time. Also, last weekend went to random hall party in Keoma, of all places, that my sister-in-law's brother was throwing. Hella good time. NEVER drink a wine-mixer beverage if someone offers you one. Well maybe it was just his wine-mixer beverage because 2 of those bad boys and you could likely die. Anywho, that's about the most excitement I've had for awhile. Even my birthday was a bore. T-Swift made turning 22 sound like the funnest thing in the history of the planet. Well she was a lying bitch. Honestly though, I have to start indulging in things that interest me more. I need to get back into photography. I need to start swimming again. I need to shoot gophers on the weekends because it's a way to release anger and stress.
Numero Tres - This one is big. Don't sweat the small stuff. Que sera sera. Whatever will be, will be. I'm tired of sitting around stressing about things that shouldn't matter. Things that are so insignificant to life and how things are going to be in the future that I am wasting my life away. I take a simple comment or glance from someone so personally. Other people don't give a flying fuck what I'm doing, who I am, where I came from, or where I'm going. So why should I let it bother me. I'm done.
With all this nonsense said, I hope some of you, too, can possibly relate. Love the people that love you back, and be free of the ones who drag you down.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Monday, May 12, 2014
Boudoir.
Ola kids! So a couple of months ago I decided, well I wouldn't say I decided more or less I was forced by a very dear friend of mine to do a boudoir photoshoot. Lemme tell you, I was horrified. Absolutely scared shitless. Then I decided to wait last minute to figure out what I was going to wear. Worst idea ever. I am the queen of procrastination. Legitimately. The worst. But I did it. Found something that I didn't look like a fat whore in and bucked up and bought it. The hair and make up… top notch. The photography… amazing. It gives you a sense of self confidence. It's great. Here are a couple of my favourites! :)
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Judgement.
Hello kids. I've been asked where my blog has gone so figured I would muster something up and fulfil your greedy hearts with a sappy sort of fuck you post. So here it goes.
Growing up I considered myself to be a pretty outgoing person and could get along with just about anyone. Until now. I get so frustrated with everyone. We all have the pre-perceved notions of people before two words come out of their mouths. "Oh that bitch looked at me wrong, I hate her guts." Fuck you. You or even myself do not know what kind of lives these people live. That girl you called a slut, she got raped as a child. That boy you called a nerd, he would try out for the basketball team and probably be captain but is scared of getting the shit kicked out of him at tryouts.
I recently got a couple new tattoos and have gotten the weirdest reactions to them. "Why would you put that on your body?" or "why don't you just tattoo your work address on you?" or "if I give you my autograph will you get it as a tattoo too?" You know what? KISS MY ASS! I got two things that are important to me. Sure you may not know what it means, but instead of judging me, why don't you ask me what it means to me or what the significance of it is? I was actually hurt by the reactions I got. So here is the reasoning for you people who might be wondering. The tattoo on my collar bone is the legal land description of my parents farm. Why? Because that's where I grew up, it's home. It's apart of who I am. It made me the person I am today. The tattoo on my foot, that is for my Grams. The one who passed away a couple of years ago. It is her sign off from my 4th birthday card. In her writing. It's perfect. It looks identical to the writing from the card. So please tell me that these aren't sentimental or that I should go get your signature tattooed on my body. The only place those would go would be on my ass with an X through it.
I am not saying in the slightest that I am not judgemental, because trust me I am. But keep your snide comments to yourself. I'm so tired of having to defend myself and other people because someone doesn't like what they are doing or how they look.
Love one another, be grateful for the people you have in your life because you never know when they decide their time is done.
xoxo
Growing up I considered myself to be a pretty outgoing person and could get along with just about anyone. Until now. I get so frustrated with everyone. We all have the pre-perceved notions of people before two words come out of their mouths. "Oh that bitch looked at me wrong, I hate her guts." Fuck you. You or even myself do not know what kind of lives these people live. That girl you called a slut, she got raped as a child. That boy you called a nerd, he would try out for the basketball team and probably be captain but is scared of getting the shit kicked out of him at tryouts.
I recently got a couple new tattoos and have gotten the weirdest reactions to them. "Why would you put that on your body?" or "why don't you just tattoo your work address on you?" or "if I give you my autograph will you get it as a tattoo too?" You know what? KISS MY ASS! I got two things that are important to me. Sure you may not know what it means, but instead of judging me, why don't you ask me what it means to me or what the significance of it is? I was actually hurt by the reactions I got. So here is the reasoning for you people who might be wondering. The tattoo on my collar bone is the legal land description of my parents farm. Why? Because that's where I grew up, it's home. It's apart of who I am. It made me the person I am today. The tattoo on my foot, that is for my Grams. The one who passed away a couple of years ago. It is her sign off from my 4th birthday card. In her writing. It's perfect. It looks identical to the writing from the card. So please tell me that these aren't sentimental or that I should go get your signature tattooed on my body. The only place those would go would be on my ass with an X through it.
I am not saying in the slightest that I am not judgemental, because trust me I am. But keep your snide comments to yourself. I'm so tired of having to defend myself and other people because someone doesn't like what they are doing or how they look.
Love one another, be grateful for the people you have in your life because you never know when they decide their time is done.
xoxo
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Love.
Feelings. How does one properly convey how they are feeling to someone with out A) hurting someone else's feelings B) creeping them the hell out C) ruining something that could have been great. I always find myself holding back how I feel in certain situations because I am scared of how the other person is going to react. It baffles me how something so huge gets thrown around so freely. Sure, tell your family, friends and loved ones that you love them but don't throw the words around like they don't mean anything. I see so many young kids who have been dating someone for 2 days telling each other they love one another but honestly, do they even know what the means?
I love my friends. I love my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and I LOVE my nephew Dane more than anyone on the planet. I love a lot of inanimate object. But I will never tell someone I love them without actually getting to know them. Getting to see who they are. Understanding them. That's what matters. You have to be ready for things like that. There are so many pressures in this world that falling in love shouldn't be one of them. It should be nature. I personally believe that a healthy relationship shouldn't be boasted about all over social media. Granted people have their own opinions about this and have expressed them to me, but this is how I feel. Judge me. Give me shit. Come at me. To each their own. You have your opinion and so do I. Leave me be with mine and I will leave you be with yours.
Laugh often. Smile More. Love Wholeheartedly.
Xoxo.
I love my friends. I love my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and I LOVE my nephew Dane more than anyone on the planet. I love a lot of inanimate object. But I will never tell someone I love them without actually getting to know them. Getting to see who they are. Understanding them. That's what matters. You have to be ready for things like that. There are so many pressures in this world that falling in love shouldn't be one of them. It should be nature. I personally believe that a healthy relationship shouldn't be boasted about all over social media. Granted people have their own opinions about this and have expressed them to me, but this is how I feel. Judge me. Give me shit. Come at me. To each their own. You have your opinion and so do I. Leave me be with mine and I will leave you be with yours.
Laugh often. Smile More. Love Wholeheartedly.
Xoxo.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
Mr. & Mrs. Parker
I got the absolute pleasure of taking the pictures at my childhood friends wedding yesterday and let me tell you…. these guys are nuts! In a good way! So much fun! Here is a 'peek' at a few of the shots we did!
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Social Media.
Hola friends.
Haven't written a sassy Daelyn-esk blog in a couple weeks, so I figured hey! Why not tonight? Lot's of excitement in the Deeg family lately with the arrival of Dane Kayson to the clan! Let me tell you, the love one has for their first nephew or niece; nothing compares. He's freaking great. I could literally just snuggle him all damn day.
Carrying right along to the point of my blog today. Social media. Holy moses is this ever taking over our lives. It is insanity. Even me writing this blog, social media! Insanity. The fact that someone cannot go a couple of hours without their cellphone literally baffles me. Going to dinner with people anymore is actually pointless because everyone is just on their phones all night. That is my favourite thing about going out anymore; people watching. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who completely ignore the people they are with just to text someone back to "check their Facebook quick" or "send a quick tweet." These things are starting to take over our lives and no one seems to bother trying to make an effort for human contact anymore. Everything is just over the phone or internet. Now don't get me wrong, I am an offender of this on as well but I actually go out for dinner or do things with people because I genuinely like them or want to be with them, not because I want to be with them and their fucking phone. Get real.
I was out for dinner with a good friend of mine downtown one night and we were sitting there drinking wine and chatting and such and I looked at the table in front of me and the couple sitting there looked like they were actually having the worst time of their entire lives. Married, both on their cell phones, and when they didn't have the phones glued to their hands or faces they just sat there and stared into space and didn't even try to interact with one another. That is not what I would want in a relationship. Let's face it, I ain't no expert on dating because hell I haven't dated since junior high but honestly I don't care; but that's besides the point. If I were in a relationship with someone who had a permaphone on their hand I would lose my marbles! I'd want interaction, attraction, affection, hell pick on me! I don't care! Just talk to me! Pay attention and engage in life. Don't be a robot.
Furthermore, if you are going to use social media such as Facebook or twitter don't be stupid about it. Be considerate of the people who will be viewing your content. Would you mother, father, grandparents, etc. be proud of you for posting what you are posting? Once it's out there, it's there. People are going to judge you, people are going to talk, people are going to post their opinions. You can't be upset with someone for posting their comments. Take it with a grain of salt. If you are going to post about personal things, then maybe think about what peoples reactions are going to be before you post it. Too many of my friends have been arguing online lately about things such as parenting, breastfeeding, politics, etc. Everyone has an opinion and everyone is going to post that opinion if you give them the opportunity and it sucks seeing everyone arguing about such things.
Anywho, rant complete.
Love all. Don't judge. Be kind. Love one another. Peace.
Haven't written a sassy Daelyn-esk blog in a couple weeks, so I figured hey! Why not tonight? Lot's of excitement in the Deeg family lately with the arrival of Dane Kayson to the clan! Let me tell you, the love one has for their first nephew or niece; nothing compares. He's freaking great. I could literally just snuggle him all damn day.
Carrying right along to the point of my blog today. Social media. Holy moses is this ever taking over our lives. It is insanity. Even me writing this blog, social media! Insanity. The fact that someone cannot go a couple of hours without their cellphone literally baffles me. Going to dinner with people anymore is actually pointless because everyone is just on their phones all night. That is my favourite thing about going out anymore; people watching. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who completely ignore the people they are with just to text someone back to "check their Facebook quick" or "send a quick tweet." These things are starting to take over our lives and no one seems to bother trying to make an effort for human contact anymore. Everything is just over the phone or internet. Now don't get me wrong, I am an offender of this on as well but I actually go out for dinner or do things with people because I genuinely like them or want to be with them, not because I want to be with them and their fucking phone. Get real.
I was out for dinner with a good friend of mine downtown one night and we were sitting there drinking wine and chatting and such and I looked at the table in front of me and the couple sitting there looked like they were actually having the worst time of their entire lives. Married, both on their cell phones, and when they didn't have the phones glued to their hands or faces they just sat there and stared into space and didn't even try to interact with one another. That is not what I would want in a relationship. Let's face it, I ain't no expert on dating because hell I haven't dated since junior high but honestly I don't care; but that's besides the point. If I were in a relationship with someone who had a permaphone on their hand I would lose my marbles! I'd want interaction, attraction, affection, hell pick on me! I don't care! Just talk to me! Pay attention and engage in life. Don't be a robot.
Furthermore, if you are going to use social media such as Facebook or twitter don't be stupid about it. Be considerate of the people who will be viewing your content. Would you mother, father, grandparents, etc. be proud of you for posting what you are posting? Once it's out there, it's there. People are going to judge you, people are going to talk, people are going to post their opinions. You can't be upset with someone for posting their comments. Take it with a grain of salt. If you are going to post about personal things, then maybe think about what peoples reactions are going to be before you post it. Too many of my friends have been arguing online lately about things such as parenting, breastfeeding, politics, etc. Everyone has an opinion and everyone is going to post that opinion if you give them the opportunity and it sucks seeing everyone arguing about such things.
Anywho, rant complete.
Love all. Don't judge. Be kind. Love one another. Peace.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Life.
I find myself wondering everyday if I actually have
made in impact on peoples lives and I always wonder if I've made the best
decisions. As I look around this beautiful home I have created and bought
on my own will, I wonder if I was truly ready for such a big responsibility at
such a young ripe age of 21. Sure the stresses get me down sometimes, as owning your own home is extremely stressful and taxing on my emotions but I honestly feel that if I hadn't have done this, I'd probably still be living at home with my ma and pa. Which necessarily isn't a completely awful thing, because don't get me wrong, I basically live there on weekends anyways, but I wouldn't have this sense of independence and
I find myself over analyzing every single thing I do, every single look I get from people. That is not the way I want to live my life. I miss being a happy go-lucky, carefree girl! I was having a conversation with someone a couple weeks ago and she said her "New Years Resolution" was to "find her smile again." When I got home later that night I found myself sitting there wondering what that could mean in so many different aspects of my life. Then it hit me. I've lost the one thing that made me, me. My smile. You could always see my happiness in my smile. I was always smiling. Always. It didn't matter if I didn't do something I was supposed to or made somebody upset, I always smiled because I knew I was going to get through it and come out a better person in the long run.
I need to get back to that. My new life motto is "que sera sera" for those of you who don't know what that means it is "whatever will be will be." Life has a funny way of working itself out. It gets tough. Oh fuck, does it get tough and there are days where you think you just can't get through it; there is always going to be something better. Something worth learning. Something to grow from. My life is far from perfect, yet in it's own little weird, quirky way, its kind of perfect for me.
Live. Grow. Learn. And most of all. LOVE.
Monday, January 13, 2014
January 10.
Hello my dearest blog followers/readers! As I was completely overwhelmed by the response on my last post I figured it was about time for another heartfelt somewhat depressing post!
January 10th. January 10th 1928. The day Marion Elizabeth Morton was born. For those of you who do not know who Marion is, she is my fathers mother. Marion had four brothers and one sister; went to war for our country and eventually married Fred Deeg. Fred and Marion had four wonderful children together. Susan, Larry, Dave and Roger. Fred passed away when the kids were young and Marion was now a widowed mother. A few years later Marion met Charlie Hall and they got married and had a daughter Cheryl. Growing up on the farm was Marion's life and she loved it!
As Charlie and Marion raised the kids they eventually all began to start their own families. That's where I come into the picture! Little ol' me born May 6th of 1992 to make everyones lives soooo much better! Just kidding. That was a little boastful; my apologies. Anywho! Back to my story here. When I was a kid I remember going over to grams and gramps to pick raspberries, make jam, listen to grandpa play the banjo or the harmonica, or even help grams roll her cigarettes; and let me tell you this was one of my favourite tasks! Now your probably thinking "what did those rednecks do out on the farm?!" and let me tell you were were the most normal family around; as far as we knew! So when gramps passed away when I was in grade three my world was shattered. I remember not going to school and when anyone asked me about it, I would breakdown into tears.
Growing up, going over to grams house was literally one of my favourite things to do. Christmas mornings were my absolute favourite thing in the history of the world. We'd wake up at home, open our gifts with mom and dad then dad would go feed the cows at Uncle Dave's and we would get ready to go to grams for Christmas morning breakfast. All of us. All 19 of us. It was glorious, loud and full of laughter. Indian leg wrestles, riding the stationary bike while eating cookies and drinking coffee, snowball fights, you get the picture. Just imagine a whole lot of crazy in one house and you will get our Christmas morning, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Needless to say I eventually grew up and started to have a life of my own, I started to drive, I started to go to parties or the bar once I was 18 and started to drift away. One of my biggest regrets. My biggest regret in life is not spending more time with grams as an adult. I kick myself in the ass everyday for it. I was your typical selfish teenager who only wanted to spend time my with people who I now don't even talk to. So when grams was diagnosed with breast cancer my "Daelyn bubble" popped and I was broken. I was scared for her and I didn't know what to expect, so when she decided to get a mastectomy I was in complete awe of this woman. I was young and thought it was sweet the grams had a bra with a fake boob in it. IT FELT REAL!!! (Just incase you were wondering haha) Anywho grams kicked breast cancers ass and was doing great!
And then BAM there it was again. Cancer. This time it wasn't breast cancer, this time it was lung cancer. This time I knew something was different. I was different. I needed to be there for her, so when she started her radiation I tried to be there with her as much as I could. Let me tell you, seeing her like this was actually the hardest thing I've ever experienced. She was put into hospice at the hospital and we went and saw her all the time. I even took her DQ milkshakes and sundaes to cheer her up. When it was time to say goodbye I was not ready, but who is ever truly ready to say goodbye to someone you love more than life? I couldn't work. I wouldn't eat. I went into a pretty dark depressed state. Grams passed away May 15th 2012 and my life has yet to be the same. I have never missed anyone so much in my entire life. There were days I just held the blanket she made me and cried, but with the help of my family and the few great friends that I have and the amazing Corinna that I saw on July 15th 2013 I knew she was okay and I knew she was with me and still loved me.
As last Friday passed, I sat on my lunch break and silently wished Grams a Happy 86th Birthday. I miss her everyday and will never forget the cherished memories I have of my Angel above.
Don't take your time with your family for granted, you never know when something could jump out of the wood works and shatter your world. Cherish the small moments. Document them. Take pictures. Make videos. Indulge in each others presence. Most of all, tell the people you love that you love them.
January 10th. January 10th 1928. The day Marion Elizabeth Morton was born. For those of you who do not know who Marion is, she is my fathers mother. Marion had four brothers and one sister; went to war for our country and eventually married Fred Deeg. Fred and Marion had four wonderful children together. Susan, Larry, Dave and Roger. Fred passed away when the kids were young and Marion was now a widowed mother. A few years later Marion met Charlie Hall and they got married and had a daughter Cheryl. Growing up on the farm was Marion's life and she loved it!
As Charlie and Marion raised the kids they eventually all began to start their own families. That's where I come into the picture! Little ol' me born May 6th of 1992 to make everyones lives soooo much better! Just kidding. That was a little boastful; my apologies. Anywho! Back to my story here. When I was a kid I remember going over to grams and gramps to pick raspberries, make jam, listen to grandpa play the banjo or the harmonica, or even help grams roll her cigarettes; and let me tell you this was one of my favourite tasks! Now your probably thinking "what did those rednecks do out on the farm?!" and let me tell you were were the most normal family around; as far as we knew! So when gramps passed away when I was in grade three my world was shattered. I remember not going to school and when anyone asked me about it, I would breakdown into tears.
Growing up, going over to grams house was literally one of my favourite things to do. Christmas mornings were my absolute favourite thing in the history of the world. We'd wake up at home, open our gifts with mom and dad then dad would go feed the cows at Uncle Dave's and we would get ready to go to grams for Christmas morning breakfast. All of us. All 19 of us. It was glorious, loud and full of laughter. Indian leg wrestles, riding the stationary bike while eating cookies and drinking coffee, snowball fights, you get the picture. Just imagine a whole lot of crazy in one house and you will get our Christmas morning, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Needless to say I eventually grew up and started to have a life of my own, I started to drive, I started to go to parties or the bar once I was 18 and started to drift away. One of my biggest regrets. My biggest regret in life is not spending more time with grams as an adult. I kick myself in the ass everyday for it. I was your typical selfish teenager who only wanted to spend time my with people who I now don't even talk to. So when grams was diagnosed with breast cancer my "Daelyn bubble" popped and I was broken. I was scared for her and I didn't know what to expect, so when she decided to get a mastectomy I was in complete awe of this woman. I was young and thought it was sweet the grams had a bra with a fake boob in it. IT FELT REAL!!! (Just incase you were wondering haha) Anywho grams kicked breast cancers ass and was doing great!
And then BAM there it was again. Cancer. This time it wasn't breast cancer, this time it was lung cancer. This time I knew something was different. I was different. I needed to be there for her, so when she started her radiation I tried to be there with her as much as I could. Let me tell you, seeing her like this was actually the hardest thing I've ever experienced. She was put into hospice at the hospital and we went and saw her all the time. I even took her DQ milkshakes and sundaes to cheer her up. When it was time to say goodbye I was not ready, but who is ever truly ready to say goodbye to someone you love more than life? I couldn't work. I wouldn't eat. I went into a pretty dark depressed state. Grams passed away May 15th 2012 and my life has yet to be the same. I have never missed anyone so much in my entire life. There were days I just held the blanket she made me and cried, but with the help of my family and the few great friends that I have and the amazing Corinna that I saw on July 15th 2013 I knew she was okay and I knew she was with me and still loved me.
As last Friday passed, I sat on my lunch break and silently wished Grams a Happy 86th Birthday. I miss her everyday and will never forget the cherished memories I have of my Angel above.
Don't take your time with your family for granted, you never know when something could jump out of the wood works and shatter your world. Cherish the small moments. Document them. Take pictures. Make videos. Indulge in each others presence. Most of all, tell the people you love that you love them.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Medium.
Here we go. My first ever blog post. As I sit here trying to figure out why I decided to start a blog, I find myself wondering why now? Why at this point in my life did I decide to share my thoughts and aspirations with people I think I know, or people who think they know me? And I figure why the hell not!
Let's start from the beginning. I grew up on a farm North of Strathmore near Lyalta for 19 years and they were the best years of my life. I wouldn't trade the life on the farm for anything. I have the most loving parents a girl could ever ask for and I don't know what I would do without them. Oh, and that brother of mine, eh he's pretty fantastic too. As much as I hate to admit we get along sometimes he's probably the one person I would run to if I ever had a problem that I couldn't talk to anyone about. That amazing man is now married and starting a family of his own, which is bound to arrive early February and I cannot wait to be an auntie.
For the majority of my life I've been one of the girls who always had self confidence issues, but hey! WHO DOESN'T! Relax, this isn't going to be my sob story of me complaining that I'm fat and overweight. I, frankly, don't give a shit anymore what people think of me, nor do I care to hear what you have to say about my body image. It has taken me a long time to get to this point in my life and I have to say it's been a bumpy ride, but I had the help of a friend of mine who passed away a couple of years ago.
On July 15, 2013 I went and saw a medium. I honestly just went because I thought Theresa Caputo was the shit and I wanted to see if it was real and to see who would come through for me. Let me start off by saying holy crap this is real and you get away with nothing when your loved ones have passed on. Anyways, Corinna started doing her normal medium thing and then went on and said "the information you are about to receive is intended to be guidance and guidance alone and you are in control of your own life.. Daelyn they are telling me you are a wonderful, fun and happy person on the outside, but on the inside it is a whole different story. They tell me you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and that you good at putting on a fake face for people to think you are happy. They are telling me that you need to do some housecleaning in your relationships."
And then she went on some more about some other things and then all of a sudden she looks at me and says "I have a young man here who won't even let me finish here, did you lose someone young?" I quietly whispered a yes as I knew exactly who it was. It was Josh. "He's an impatient young man!" she says and starts to laugh. As she says this I burst into tears as I am not ready in the slightest to hear from him. She says "he's very excited because he wants to talk to you so badly, and I am going to start crying because I can feel his emotions as well, and he has to start talking now because he's getting mad at me." And that was it I was in full blown emotional melt down. "He's asking and praying that you forgive him, and he's been asking for forgiveness for so long and he wants to bring healing to you and to everyone he hurt with his actions.
"I was an ass; I have to own that," he said and she went on to tell me so many more things about how he's doing and how he is on the right path and on the right side. "I'm okay! Relax! I'm okay!" he says as if he was reading my mind. That's all I ever wanted; to know that he was okay. And then it got into the serious stuff. "Stop letting people treat you so badly; that's why you get into the sullen states that you do because you don't know your own worth. Just remember everything happens for a reason. You've been bullied severely; everything happens to make you who you are supposed to be. And we have choices in life, and you put a smile on your face and you're choosing to be a good person, you're not choosing to be toxic and negative and angry; you could! You easily could, but you haven't. See how strong you are? You don't give yourself enough credit for your strength; that speaks volumes of who you are. The key behind all of this is that you are learning something from all of it, it's making you into the person you are meant to be. You've been bullied in so many aspects of your life you just take it and don't do anything with it and don't stand up for yourself. You need to stand up for yourself. How you stay smiling; it's a wonder, but it's a true testament of how beautiful you really are."
And there is was. The first time a boy had ever told me I was beautiful. Granted, he wasn't saying to my face or anything but this felt more special. More real and more meaningful than I could have ever wanted it to be. She looks at me and says "he wants me to kick you in the ass." To which I confusedly reply (laughing of course) "why!?" and she simply replies "you need to have more confidence and not mistreat you either. You need to find your self worth." "You're a good girl, and you've got a heart of gold and you deserved to be loved, but you need to clean house. You have some people in your life that are toxic and that aren't good for you. They are using and abusing you and you need them gone." I then found myself going through the people in my life and analyzing the relationships I have with them and wow, was he ever right. I am the epitome of a people pleaser. To which in later months I've thought about and actually pulled away from the people I was trying to please the most, as it wasn't benefiting me; it was only benefiting them.
"I'm going to bring this up and I know you aren't going to want to talk about it but he is saying that he needs to talk to you about it so here it is; your weight." Right there my heart dropped to my stomach. and I was done. I didn't want to hear anymore because at this point I never wanted to talk about it, especially with a guy but here it goes. "My god girl, get over yourself. Weight has nothing to do with who you are as a person. The only time weight comes into play is if you are unhealthy and you've got a clean bill of health so relax. Beauty is who you are as a human being, think about a blind person. They meet your soul and have no idea what you look like, they could careless what you look like. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if people don't like you for who you are then fuck them." And that was the Josh I knew. It wasn't going to be a real conversation with Josh until I heard an f-bomb.
As the reading went on Josh and I talked about a couple other things and then all of a sudden she says "Josh is stepping aside for a lady who has been waiting very patiently to talk to you," and instantly I knew who it was. It was Grams. Grandma Marion Hall. The most special woman in the world. And as I sit here writing this blog I tear up just thinking about her. She was such an amazing woman. She fought in the war, she had five kids, nine grand kids, and seven great grandkids who all love her and miss her more than words could express and when Corinna asked me who she was I couldn't even say her name. I couldn't come to terms with the fact that A) she was gone and B) she was here at this very moment.
"She cradled you as a baby and she loves you very much. I have to come and talk to you about you self image because you are so beautiful and I miss you so much." And I was sobbing, I couldn't comprehend that she was actually there. It was different with her. "I see you everyday, I am with you everyday and I see you crying those tears behind closed doors. I love you for who you are and I think you are absolutely perfect." Perfection is perception. I have never had that safety blanket other than my Grams, so when she passed it was the most life changing and earth shattering thing for me. Losing her was like losing apart of my soul. So for her to be saying these things to me made everything seem kind of surreal. "I'm giving you back that piece of your soul, I am very much apart of your life my dear." Then Corinna looks at me and says "were you at the airport the other day?" to which I confusingly replied "uh, yea?" and she's says "yup, grams was there with you." I got instant goosebumps.
The remainder of my reading was about my future, to which I am not going to share with you all as that can all be a surprise. Just as it was for me because holy crap was it ever. If you have ever honestly considered going to a medium, please go. It will change you life. To those of you who know Josh, please know that he is well and that he is happy and watches over each and every one of us everyday. To those of you who knew my Grams, you too, were lucky enough to know one of the most amazing people in the world and one of my two known Angels.
So here you have it. My first blog post. If you're wondering holy shit how did she remember all this from July!? I have a recording on my phone of it all. I'm not spilling the beans on the juicy stuff! I had to write about this because I know so many people who have lost a loved one and they are struggling to find closure. I ask you this: Would you pass up a chance to talk to someone you love just one more time?
Let's start from the beginning. I grew up on a farm North of Strathmore near Lyalta for 19 years and they were the best years of my life. I wouldn't trade the life on the farm for anything. I have the most loving parents a girl could ever ask for and I don't know what I would do without them. Oh, and that brother of mine, eh he's pretty fantastic too. As much as I hate to admit we get along sometimes he's probably the one person I would run to if I ever had a problem that I couldn't talk to anyone about. That amazing man is now married and starting a family of his own, which is bound to arrive early February and I cannot wait to be an auntie.
For the majority of my life I've been one of the girls who always had self confidence issues, but hey! WHO DOESN'T! Relax, this isn't going to be my sob story of me complaining that I'm fat and overweight. I, frankly, don't give a shit anymore what people think of me, nor do I care to hear what you have to say about my body image. It has taken me a long time to get to this point in my life and I have to say it's been a bumpy ride, but I had the help of a friend of mine who passed away a couple of years ago.
On July 15, 2013 I went and saw a medium. I honestly just went because I thought Theresa Caputo was the shit and I wanted to see if it was real and to see who would come through for me. Let me start off by saying holy crap this is real and you get away with nothing when your loved ones have passed on. Anyways, Corinna started doing her normal medium thing and then went on and said "the information you are about to receive is intended to be guidance and guidance alone and you are in control of your own life.. Daelyn they are telling me you are a wonderful, fun and happy person on the outside, but on the inside it is a whole different story. They tell me you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and that you good at putting on a fake face for people to think you are happy. They are telling me that you need to do some housecleaning in your relationships."
And then she went on some more about some other things and then all of a sudden she looks at me and says "I have a young man here who won't even let me finish here, did you lose someone young?" I quietly whispered a yes as I knew exactly who it was. It was Josh. "He's an impatient young man!" she says and starts to laugh. As she says this I burst into tears as I am not ready in the slightest to hear from him. She says "he's very excited because he wants to talk to you so badly, and I am going to start crying because I can feel his emotions as well, and he has to start talking now because he's getting mad at me." And that was it I was in full blown emotional melt down. "He's asking and praying that you forgive him, and he's been asking for forgiveness for so long and he wants to bring healing to you and to everyone he hurt with his actions.
"I was an ass; I have to own that," he said and she went on to tell me so many more things about how he's doing and how he is on the right path and on the right side. "I'm okay! Relax! I'm okay!" he says as if he was reading my mind. That's all I ever wanted; to know that he was okay. And then it got into the serious stuff. "Stop letting people treat you so badly; that's why you get into the sullen states that you do because you don't know your own worth. Just remember everything happens for a reason. You've been bullied severely; everything happens to make you who you are supposed to be. And we have choices in life, and you put a smile on your face and you're choosing to be a good person, you're not choosing to be toxic and negative and angry; you could! You easily could, but you haven't. See how strong you are? You don't give yourself enough credit for your strength; that speaks volumes of who you are. The key behind all of this is that you are learning something from all of it, it's making you into the person you are meant to be. You've been bullied in so many aspects of your life you just take it and don't do anything with it and don't stand up for yourself. You need to stand up for yourself. How you stay smiling; it's a wonder, but it's a true testament of how beautiful you really are."
And there is was. The first time a boy had ever told me I was beautiful. Granted, he wasn't saying to my face or anything but this felt more special. More real and more meaningful than I could have ever wanted it to be. She looks at me and says "he wants me to kick you in the ass." To which I confusedly reply (laughing of course) "why!?" and she simply replies "you need to have more confidence and not mistreat you either. You need to find your self worth." "You're a good girl, and you've got a heart of gold and you deserved to be loved, but you need to clean house. You have some people in your life that are toxic and that aren't good for you. They are using and abusing you and you need them gone." I then found myself going through the people in my life and analyzing the relationships I have with them and wow, was he ever right. I am the epitome of a people pleaser. To which in later months I've thought about and actually pulled away from the people I was trying to please the most, as it wasn't benefiting me; it was only benefiting them.
"I'm going to bring this up and I know you aren't going to want to talk about it but he is saying that he needs to talk to you about it so here it is; your weight." Right there my heart dropped to my stomach. and I was done. I didn't want to hear anymore because at this point I never wanted to talk about it, especially with a guy but here it goes. "My god girl, get over yourself. Weight has nothing to do with who you are as a person. The only time weight comes into play is if you are unhealthy and you've got a clean bill of health so relax. Beauty is who you are as a human being, think about a blind person. They meet your soul and have no idea what you look like, they could careless what you look like. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and if people don't like you for who you are then fuck them." And that was the Josh I knew. It wasn't going to be a real conversation with Josh until I heard an f-bomb.
As the reading went on Josh and I talked about a couple other things and then all of a sudden she says "Josh is stepping aside for a lady who has been waiting very patiently to talk to you," and instantly I knew who it was. It was Grams. Grandma Marion Hall. The most special woman in the world. And as I sit here writing this blog I tear up just thinking about her. She was such an amazing woman. She fought in the war, she had five kids, nine grand kids, and seven great grandkids who all love her and miss her more than words could express and when Corinna asked me who she was I couldn't even say her name. I couldn't come to terms with the fact that A) she was gone and B) she was here at this very moment.
"She cradled you as a baby and she loves you very much. I have to come and talk to you about you self image because you are so beautiful and I miss you so much." And I was sobbing, I couldn't comprehend that she was actually there. It was different with her. "I see you everyday, I am with you everyday and I see you crying those tears behind closed doors. I love you for who you are and I think you are absolutely perfect." Perfection is perception. I have never had that safety blanket other than my Grams, so when she passed it was the most life changing and earth shattering thing for me. Losing her was like losing apart of my soul. So for her to be saying these things to me made everything seem kind of surreal. "I'm giving you back that piece of your soul, I am very much apart of your life my dear." Then Corinna looks at me and says "were you at the airport the other day?" to which I confusingly replied "uh, yea?" and she's says "yup, grams was there with you." I got instant goosebumps.
The remainder of my reading was about my future, to which I am not going to share with you all as that can all be a surprise. Just as it was for me because holy crap was it ever. If you have ever honestly considered going to a medium, please go. It will change you life. To those of you who know Josh, please know that he is well and that he is happy and watches over each and every one of us everyday. To those of you who knew my Grams, you too, were lucky enough to know one of the most amazing people in the world and one of my two known Angels.
So here you have it. My first blog post. If you're wondering holy shit how did she remember all this from July!? I have a recording on my phone of it all. I'm not spilling the beans on the juicy stuff! I had to write about this because I know so many people who have lost a loved one and they are struggling to find closure. I ask you this: Would you pass up a chance to talk to someone you love just one more time?
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